Sorry

Can’t change the past
All the wrongs I did
Every disappointment
The lies I created
and unfulfilled promises

Baby, I let you down
Didn’t deserve all that
The sleepless nights
and endless cries
Wasn’t there for you

I never deserved you
Didn’t appreciate you
Took your love for granted
and you left me wasted
Chocking with remorse

I’m ashamed of facing you
I got no more excuses
To back up my faults
But don’t leave like this
Forgive me, I am sorry!

~ © John Acéx

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Torment

I’m deep in pain
Clouded by struggle
Burning in hell

Every effort is in vain
Each day another hurdle
Feeling caged in a cell

Tears fall like rain
My tomorrow is a gamble
Got no one to tell

Dreams down the drain
Moving forward’s a stumble
Drown me in a well

~ John Acéx

The endless midnight drives

The constant drives to the bar
To drain myself in the scorching liquor
To target the pain you caused me
The endless drives to the dump you fall asleep on
To pick your wasted self from the floots
The countless men
that call you in the middle of the night
You giggle yourself throughout the conversations
Promising them a good time with you
Suddenly, the bed becomes empty
Only to realize it’s one of the many nights
I twist and d bed silently and keenly
Listening…tic toc tic toc goes the clock
Counting, counting every second, every minute
Your body was kept on torture with men
Everytime I thought of leaving all this
Behind the pain, humiliation, shame, lies
I just couldn’t let it go
I’ve packed my bags countless times
But love and hope tied my body down
To stay with you one more time
Closing my eyes praying to this unknown God
God that heals an open wound,
3 am, I prepare myself to see your broken body
At the side of the road, wasted
But every time I’ve witness that
I’ve realized it’s love that draws me back to you
Then I realize that alcohol heals all wounds
My drink was a best friend
That made everything in life seem easy
And drowns itself in my sorrows
Just to forget you! The constant drives to the bar
To drain myself in the scorching liquor
To target the pain you caused me
The endless drives to the dump you fall asleep on
To pick your wasted self from the floots
The countless men
that call you in the middle of the night
You giggle yourself throughout the conversations
Promising them a good time with you
Suddenly, the bed becomes empty
Only to realize it’s one of the many nights
I twist and turn in the empty bed
I walk with hopeless footsteps towards the window,
Footsteps that are terrified
To know the damn ugly truth, but try to accept it
I watch your tired shadow entering the car
And tears fight back in my eyes
I lay myself in bed silently and keenly
Listening…tic toc tic toc goes the clock
Counting, counting every second, every minute
Your body was kept on torture with men
Everytime I thought of leaving all this
Behind the pain, humiliation, shame, lies
I just couldn’t let it go
I’ve packed my bags countless times
But love and hope tied my body down
To stay with you one more time
Closing my eyes praying to this unknown God
God that heals an open wound,
3 am, I prepare myself to see your broken body
At the side of the road, wasted
But every time I’ve witness that
I’ve realized it’s love that draws me back to you
Then I realize that alcohol heals all wounds
My drink was a best friend
That made everything in life seem easy
And drowns itself in my sorrows
Just to forget you!

~ © Calvin Alistar

Crestfallen

Life, this life of mine

What’s the essence of living?

What’s my purpose of existence?

Dreaming big ’bout my life

Putting in strainous effort

But results always puny

With every mirror tear that drops

Grows my bitterness towards life

What am I doing wrong?

Burnt down to ashes

Mercy of the wind I remain

I’ve failed to compasss my life

Lost my course of direction

I suffer on my cross

Hoping for a better me

But is there joy set after this?

With every sacrifice I make

Life hits me back dead-shot

What’s this life’s worth?

I need help, hear my cry!

~ © John Acéx