Slaves to Society

You stole our hopes
corrupted our minds
and killed our dreams

Now we are a plague
to the same society
that enslaved us

All our efforts at
seeking freedom is
being tagged a crime

But maybe a little
breaking of your laws
and aborminating sins
is what it will take
to feel alive, again

~ © John Acéx

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Sorry about Yesterday

I’m sorry my love
I’m sorry about yesterday
I screwed up, screwed up bad
I wasn’t there for you when I had to
when I was supposed to
I disappointed you, broke your heart
What I did has no valid excuse
and I respect you much not to lie
I know my presence would make you smile
I took that away from you
I took away your happiness
and for failing you, love, I’m sorry
cause I vowed to put nothing above you
But I did, I did break my vow
I broke my promise of time to you

Wish I had the power to reverse time
So I can wake up yesterday, remorseful
And determined to be better for you
But I can’t, what’s done is done
and it saddens me big time
I made a terrible mistake,
and it cannot be undone, it stays on record
a dark page in your journal
to always remind you that I failed
There’s no way I could rectify this
This happens once a year and I missed it

My soul is all broken right now
by just the thought that maybe
You cried yourself to sleep, yesterday
Tears of this pain I caused you
Tears caused by the one you chose to love
and the fool wasn’t even there then
to just dry your eyes and apologize
to make up for his mess and tell you it’s okay
I’m sorry for coming out late

The shame that clouded me killed my courage
I’m even afraid of facing you right now
I don’t know what I’m gonna say
I’m afraid of what you gonna say
I’m afraid of losing you
That’s why I write this form of apology
Praying that it will set my path straight
Before I finally face you
I hope that you will find a way to hold on
I hope that you will hear me out
and probably find a reason to forgive me,
a reason to save my wretched soul
from my self-torment

I promise to be better for you
I’m sorry my love, sorry for disappointing you
I’m sorry for yesterday

~ © John Acex

Strange reflection

One look in the mirror
and I am unable
to recognize what I see
I’ve become unable
to understand who I see

Like a caged bird
I feel lost in this body
the reflection ain’t me
I see a monster
Terrifying me to the bone
I see a stranger
Who’s taken over my body
Trapped in this aching vessel

I am deeply afraid
Afraid of whom I see
I am dripping of fear
Fear of what I have become
I am afraid of myself
of the harm I may cause myself
of the risk I have created
to everyone who’s close to me
to all who care about me;

Strange reflection
starring in the mirror
I don’t wanna be you,
Strange reflection
tormenting my soul
I don’t wanna be me

~ © John Acéx

There’s something dark

I’m haunted by past demons
My own handing of evil
Monsters I created myself
Ghosting me day and night
Fighting for my last breath

There’s something dark
Inside my soul,
That creates beauty
In tormenting me

Learnt to embrace my demons
I’m unable to let them go
I’m unable to free my soul

And on some nights
I’m afraid to go to sleep
‘Cause I’ll be vulnerable
And I’m afraid, I may not
See yet another ominous day
To battle my demons,

My friends!

~ © John Acéx

Blame on us

Now that we’re apart
It’s the end of our world
Our little heaven is in ashes
And it was both our faults
Guessing we loved wrong
We failed to distinguish
Between what we wanted
And definitely what we needed
We meddled in this
And now it’s too much to bare
It wasn’t actually love
Just a satisfaction of desire
can’t keep up with the deceit
Saying that we love each other
But only amplifying the hurt
We both deserve better

~ © John Acéx

The endless midnight drives

The constant drives to the bar
To drain myself in the scorching liquor
To target the pain you caused me
The endless drives to the dump you fall asleep on
To pick your wasted self from the floots
The countless men
that call you in the middle of the night
You giggle yourself throughout the conversations
Promising them a good time with you
Suddenly, the bed becomes empty
Only to realize it’s one of the many nights
I twist and d bed silently and keenly
Listening…tic toc tic toc goes the clock
Counting, counting every second, every minute
Your body was kept on torture with men
Everytime I thought of leaving all this
Behind the pain, humiliation, shame, lies
I just couldn’t let it go
I’ve packed my bags countless times
But love and hope tied my body down
To stay with you one more time
Closing my eyes praying to this unknown God
God that heals an open wound,
3 am, I prepare myself to see your broken body
At the side of the road, wasted
But every time I’ve witness that
I’ve realized it’s love that draws me back to you
Then I realize that alcohol heals all wounds
My drink was a best friend
That made everything in life seem easy
And drowns itself in my sorrows
Just to forget you! The constant drives to the bar
To drain myself in the scorching liquor
To target the pain you caused me
The endless drives to the dump you fall asleep on
To pick your wasted self from the floots
The countless men
that call you in the middle of the night
You giggle yourself throughout the conversations
Promising them a good time with you
Suddenly, the bed becomes empty
Only to realize it’s one of the many nights
I twist and turn in the empty bed
I walk with hopeless footsteps towards the window,
Footsteps that are terrified
To know the damn ugly truth, but try to accept it
I watch your tired shadow entering the car
And tears fight back in my eyes
I lay myself in bed silently and keenly
Listening…tic toc tic toc goes the clock
Counting, counting every second, every minute
Your body was kept on torture with men
Everytime I thought of leaving all this
Behind the pain, humiliation, shame, lies
I just couldn’t let it go
I’ve packed my bags countless times
But love and hope tied my body down
To stay with you one more time
Closing my eyes praying to this unknown God
God that heals an open wound,
3 am, I prepare myself to see your broken body
At the side of the road, wasted
But every time I’ve witness that
I’ve realized it’s love that draws me back to you
Then I realize that alcohol heals all wounds
My drink was a best friend
That made everything in life seem easy
And drowns itself in my sorrows
Just to forget you!

~ © Calvin Alistar